Stuck in Swaziland

Well, here is a phrase I never thought would exit my mouth:  “I’m stuck in Swaziland”.  I didn’t even know where Swaziland was until a few weeks ago. I also didn’t know it was a separate country.  I thought it was a province of South Africa.  Lesson learned.  Here is the story.

As many of you may remember, before I left the States for Africa I went to stay at my friend Judy’s place in California.  Judy loves to travel but unfortunately for her, her husband does not.  She thought maybe at the end of all of my volunteering she could meet me in South Africa and we could do an organized of South Africa.  I said sure thinking that would be a nice way to end my trip and it would nice to have someone with me that I knew for a change.  Judy had to make all the arrangements because I was in Botswana at the time and my internet wasn’t great.  So, she made the arrangements and we were all set.  I was to meet her in Cape Town on February 13th.  Got it.

February 13th comes around and I meet Judy at the hotel.  Just that day I received the itinerary and figured out this Swaziland thing may be a problem.  I had inadvertently overstayed my South African visitor visa  and didn’t realize this fact until just about a week before this tour.  I tried VERY hard to get it worked out in that week’s time but I could not.  It is impossible to get an answer from anyone in South Africa.  I called every agency and all I could get is a recording.  No voicemail.  No option to speak to a real person.  I went to agency after agency, waiting in very long lines, only to be told when I talked to someone that I was in the wrong place.  They would send me to another place and guess what……that place was not the right place either.  So frustrating!!  I emailed every agency and got no answer.  I made an appointment for one office and that alone took 3 days if that tells you anything how this country operates.  Anyway, I show up for my appointment and they turned me away because I didn’t have some paperwork printed out from the internet that didn’t even pertain to what I needed.  Ugh…..  

I finally just figured it would be no big deal.  I would get it worked out when I left South Africa 14 days later.  Worse case scenario I get a fine, an “undesirable” designation on my passport and I wouldn’t be allowed to return to South Africa for a period of time (usually 1-3 years).  OK.  I can handle that.  Here is where Swaziland comes in.  I realized we were going to this place so I looked it up on the internet and it hit me that it was a separate country.  Houston, we have a problem.  The reason we were to go through Swaziland as it’s the most direct route to get to Kruger National Park which was our next destination.  That means into Swaziland, out of Swaziland and then back into South Africa.  I immediately tell the tour guide, Shaun, about my issue.  He blew me off and said don’t worry about it.  It’s not a big deal. You are with an organized tour group. It’s OK.  I took his word for it.  He’s South African. He must know.  He deals with the tour things all the time.  Right?  Wrong!

We piddled around South Africa for a few days and then caught a flight from Cape Town to Durban.  I used my passport which is obviously stamped that I was to leave the country by February 9th and no one said anything.  That was domestic flight though and apparently no one cares if you fly within the country on an overstayed visa but don’t try to leave the country????  I don’t understand it.  Why didn’t they just catch me there and send me home?  I cannot figure out Africa. There is a saying here: “T.I.A.”  which means “This is Africa”.  It really fits just about every scenario you can think of.  My translation: “Oh well, it is what it is”.

We arrive in Durban after noon and then drive a few hours north.  We go on a river cruise to see hippos and crocs, stay at a nice hotel and the next morning we go on a game drive.  All is well.  Then we try to exit South Africa and into Swaziland.  Problem.  All is not well.  I get flagged at the South African border.  They tell me that I have now overstayed 9 days and they need to declare me “undesirable”. I have to leave the country right away.  After probably 20 phone calls and bantering back and forth between the border agents they decide this is what has to be done.  They fill out this form that says I’m “undesirable”, stamp my passport and tell me I have 10 days to appeal it.  Well, I am leaving the entire continent in about 5 days so that isn’t helpful.  They recommended that once I get into Swaziland I go the South African embassy and see if they can do anything for me right away.  HA! That’s hilarious!  Everything here takes SO FREAKING LONG to get done. Them doing something for me now is NOT going to happen.  Shaun said we would do that so they let me leave.  

Now I have to get into Swaziland. Well, they didn’t want to let me in because they scanned my passport and I was flagged as undesirable.   WTF.  I thought I was going to get stranded between the two borders in no man’s land.  Shaun told them we were going straight to the embassy which is the only reason they eventually let me in.  So, now I’ve held up the tour by about 1.5 hours. Sorry guys.  All my tour mates were amazingly sympathetic and not upset with me at all.  They all know I tried to tell Shaun about the issue and he blew it off so they were angry at him.

We finally board the bus and head into Swaziland.  We stop for lunch at a cute cafe - the food wasn’t stellar but it was OK.  It’s now 3pm and I know all the government offices close around 4pm so making it to the embassy seemed very unlikely since we still had another hour’s drive to the hotel.  Oh well.  Now what?

We get to the Mountain Inn hotel in Mbabane which was to be our hotel for the night.  Nice place with an amazing view!  The southern part of Swaziland is very flat and arid but the northern part is mountainous and very green. Such a beautiful place!

I was the main topic of discussion at dinner that night.  Everyone was trying to come up with solutions.  Such an amazing bunch of people I was with!  It was thrown out there that I should just hide in the bathroom of the bus when we try to cross the borders the next day.  Shaun says they never search the bus.  I don’t trust Shaun at all at this point but I did consider it.  Just for a moment though.  Have you ever watched the show Locked Up Abroad?  I didn’t want to be featured on an episode. With my luck that would be the one time they search the bus.  Then I’m really screwed.  I will be arrested for sure.  I also thought if I do that and I manage to make it through, what happens in Johannesburg when I try to leave South Africa to get home? They are going to wonder how I got out of Swaziland without a stamp on my passport and most of all they are going to wonder how I got back into South Africa without passing through immigration.  Now I’ve done a really bad thing because I re-entered South Africa knowing I wasn’t allowed and I snuck in instead of going through a border crossing.  Not a good idea.  Not a good idea at all.  

So, now I’m stuck in Swaziland while my bus and all my friends leave.  What was I supposed to do now?  The owner of the Mountain Inn, Mark, came to my rescue. He told me not to worry I could stay at the hotel at a reduced rate and he would take care of me.  All I needed to do was secure a flight from Swaziland to Johannesburg for Monday, February 23rd so I could then catch my original flights back home.  Being “in transit” in South Africa at the airport is OK.  Entering illegally in a bus bathroom is not OK.

To be continued……